Category Archives: Advice

04.05.20
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Parking Violations, Blueberry Champagne, and a Ninja in the Living Room: more shenanigans as we enter week 3.

Let me tell you who’s not minding the “shelter at home” order. These guys.  In spite of the fact that I live 7 feet from my parked car, and have a visitor’s pass (the story of why I don’t have a permanent sticker is for another day,) these little pesky parking dudes are still leaving the comfort of their homes to disrupt the pollen on my car long enough to add a fresh ticket to the old one I still have under my wiper. For awhile, my “trick” of leaving the last ticket in place worked, but now that it’s spring in “the city of trees” and construction is still stirring up layers of dust, the grime on top of my last ticket isn’t fooling anyone. And, I’m back to using my Georgia driver’s license because I lost my California one on my last business trip, so that complicates things…I mean, I’d go take care of these things, but we’re supposed to be sheltering, right? As I’ve mentioned before, I follow the rules.

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I’m just hoping there’s going to be some “parking forgiveness” at some point, though my Google searches thus far don’t turn up any forgivable loans for the good citizens at 1700 20th street. Sigh.

Meanwhile, the 8 food magazine subscriptions around the house are finally getting some page-turning. Every time I get hit up for another school fundraiser, I opt for the magazine subscription, so while I certainly don’t have the ingredients I need for most of the recipes, I’m working through all kinds of interesting substitutions. (Don’t worry, no mystery meat has been thawed yet this weekend.)

My typical MO with a new recipe is to substitute half the ingredients for whatever I have on hand anyway, but with the current situation (and unlike the Sacramento street patrol) I AM minding the rules to stay home and feel like that gives me a pass on following a recipe properly. That said, I made this awesome goat-cheese cream sauce with truffle spaghetti this week.  I swapped the pappardelle pasta for truffle spaghetti, the peas for roasted broccoli, skipped the chives and lemon in trade for extra leeks and diced chicken from take out leftovers. Delish.

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Fun fact–did you know you can regrow leeks in water with no dirt? They’re already re-sprouting in the living room window, right next to the garlic I’m attempting to grow..stay tuned.

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In other breaking news, I brought back a little plant based eating yesterday, to undo other damage from the week. Nothing finer than butternut squash, halved, sprinkled with kosher salt and pepper, a little olive oil and a slow bake…heart happy. Meanwhile, Nicholas was making barf noises in the background, but as my dear friend Brandon would say, “Don’t Yuck My Yum!” I’ll eat both halves, thank you very much.

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Today I woke up feeling a little Gatsby in my soul, so since it was shower day anyway, I put on what I’m positive would have been Daisy Buchanan’s Sunday best: a sleeveless black flapper dress, pearls, and glitter eye shadow. I’m sure she wouldn’t have sported a knee wrap and orthopedic sneakers, but my fashion has its limits.  I poured some Spumante in one of my favorite Atlanta-Map glasses, added some frozen blueberries, and felt really fancy for a Sunday in quarantine.

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I got up to refill my champagne and literally thought I was about to be taken hostage by a Ninja type character in my living room; turns out it’s just Nicholas, living his best life in some sort of iridescent head wear that allows him to teleport or something. I don’t know what it’s supposed to do, but I hope it can at least kidnap an egg laying chicken.

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Keep some levity, friends; have some really cold, sweet champagne.  Make cupcakes and inject frosting into the center with an icing tip. Call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile. Write a thank you note for your mailman. Buy a couple fresh daisies the next time you brave the grocery store. Plan your Easter menu.  And send as much love into the universe as you can. And pray for me and the alien in my living room.

XOXO

03.22.20
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A new shower schedule & hot dogs for breakfast: adventures of week 1

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Because I know that I won’t see most of you for a little while and you’ll forget what I wrote, I have absolutely no filter. You’ve been warned.

I really hate taking showers.

Maybe it’s because I had to share bath water on the farm with 4 other hoodlums, so that’s not exactly a clean or fond memory. I just hate the disruption of going from the coziness of my sheets to water, to being freezing cold drying off, and then having to do something with my hair. I’m already a little cranky in the morning, and the daily shower schedule really cramps my style.

So imagine my elation when I realize that I can still fix my face (because make up makes my heart happy) but I don’t actually have to abide by societal rules and take a shower every day?!  #winning.

Before you judge too much and think I must be smelly, I’ve been spending the wee hours of the night in my HGJ (homegrownjules) garage workshop, which is full of all things squeaky clean: literally 40+ bottles of isopropyl alcohol, witch hazel, liquid aloe vera, mineral oil, every essential oil available…you get the idea. I’ve been cranking out hand sanitizers, kitchen cleaning products, coffee body scrubs, and as of yesterday, a homemade jojoba hand cream, so I smell as divine as a freshly showered babe.

In other news, I work in the food industry, and while sales are tanking, I feel the need to do my part to get DoorDash as often as possible—Café Bernardo’s Thai Noodle Salad, Pizza Rock’s Cal Italia, Thai Palace’s Phad Kee Mao? Yes, please. And I’ll eat those in my soft clothes and on red china, because I still have some standards.

But in between supporting local business, I have to support our shrinking bank account, too, and since I’m a rule-follower and am trying not to leave the house for groceries, it’s time to clean out the freezer for some frugal meals in between….be afraid for my husband.

“Breakfast tacos?” I ask. “How’s that sound?”

“Delish,” he says. “Potatoes, eggs, bacon, and chorizo? Sounds perfect.”

Hmm. No bacon. No chorizo, but I had a little baggy of “mystery meat” that turned out to be grilled hot dogs—from the one time we used our rooftop grill last summer. Lord only knows what possessed me to baggy those up, but sometimes I resort back to this super frugal farm living and freeze everything I can… “just in case.”

Let me tell you—just dice those little suckers into tiny squares (think Tostino’s pizza pepperoni bits), toss into a buttery skillet and they’re transformed. Cut the sprouts off the last couple of purple potatoes and whisk in some eggs, and I’ve got a filling for breakfast tacos that I could start delivering during this crisis. I’m pretty sure Nicholas actually thought it was chorizo, and while he was dying for seconds, I only had 2 hot dogs to start with and had to ration them for another idea come tomorrow.

I think Nicholas finds Covid-19 less scary than what I might thaw from the freezer next.

It goes without saying that this is a terrifying time and I’m beyond grateful for the jobs we still have, the food in our fridge, the family that calls and checks in, the thousands of folks putting their life at risk every day, and the hope of a better tomorrow.

I assume you know all of that already, so instead of stating the obvious in excess, I thought I’d provide a little levity instead.

That said, love each other. Work a puzzle. Teach your kids how to cook. Play spoons at the kitchen table. And say your prayers. It’s going to be okay.

 

 

01.18.15
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Grandma Rocke, A Self Help Book

In a portion of my recent interview with my dad’s mom, I was shocked and humbled by some of her responses. I asked her for a fond memory of her parents…and she launched into the details of her dad’s premature death, and the fact that she then became her mother’s right hand. While these were details that I did want to know, it didn’t answer my question, so I redirected her to “fun” family nights, vacations, weekend getaways, etc.

Silence. Vacation? “No, honey. The first time I took a trip was with your grandfather for our honeymoon.”

My mind flashed to the camping trips my parents took me and my four siblings on every summer of my youth. We camped in every state except for Hawaii and Alaska, and while we were always on a budget, we did incredibly fun outdoors activities, like white water rafting in Oregon, camping next to the California Red Woods, and hiking down into Crater Lake. One year we even splurged big time and went to Orlando for Christmas.

My grandmother, however, had not been privy to these childhood luxuries. She helped raise her siblings, cooked, canned, and gardened at a young age; she dropped out of high school her sophomore year when she joined the church. After committing her life to the Lord, the expectation was that she was grown enough to quit school and get a job; her situation was taking up a job as a nanny with a local family, making $2 a week in turn for caring for two children.

She didn’t attend school dances, participate in local activities, sports, or otherwise usual childhood experiences. She helped her mother, raised her siblings, and served the Lord.

Nicholas and I recently booked a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean, and it’s literally the only thing we talk about at night…we read cruise reviews until we fall asleep, and check our “cruise countdown” app every morning.

I recognize the stark difference in my current life and that of my grandmother, and I listened in awe of her as she spoke so matter-of-factly about her life. Her voice didn’t resound with an invitation of pity or empathy for the childhood she experienced, the challenges of being married to a beekeeper who often didn’t make enough money to get through the Midwestern winter, or her current situation as a patient/guest at the nursing home; she speaks of her past with the same tone of voice she does about the Chinese food she had on Monday for her 98th birthday celebration. She sees the world through a lense of thankfulness. She’d never dream of being ungrateful of her experiences or wishing for more.

Every time I call her, and ask her about her care, she raves about the nursing home: the food? “Amazing. I couldn’t dream of more. Do you know they have unlimited ice cream? And for my birthday, they were willing to go to any local restaurant and get me anything I wanted. Of course, I asked for Chinese food.”

She’s incredibly resilient, and has so much to teach me.

I keep ordering and reading books about leadership, inspiration, and otherwise “self help” type books for my new career. The reality is, all I really need to do is keep interviewing my grandmother, and replay the audio when I need to refocus. Her life stories, experience, and wisdom is more powerful than any book I could order from Amazon—and I get the bonus of hearing her sweet, raspy voice with each replay on my audio. What a gift she is to me.

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09.07.14
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September Resolutions

I know it’s a little early for New Years resolutions, but my cousin, Jolynn Hodel, posted a new blog tonight; it was her final post about their journey to a new home this past year, and I got to thinking about all the changes you never imagine will happen, and the hindsight that allows you to realize it’s all in a perfect plan.

I lost two great men in my life this year, my grandfather in March and my dad “Poppi” in July. My husband left a 14 year career without a new job secured, and my parents sold the only childhood home I ever lived in. I ended the only “career” I’ve ever known and have two degrees in a file folder that are, at the moment, irrelevant. And if that wasn’t enough change, an age old friendship ended abruptly this summer without explanation.

I’ve written before about change and transition, and at the risk of sounding redundant, I wanted to wrap up the changes like a Christmas present, and take this time to be thankful, press forward, and make some resolutions.

I resolve to have faith, in spite of the the need I have for control.
I resolve to spend time with the people closest to me because tomorrow is never promised.
I resolve to not be complacent in a job just because it’s easy.
I resolve to only maintain the relationships in my life that are positive and good for me.
I resolve to always remember where I came from, and keep calling my grandmothers every week.
I resolve to continue “Sunday gravy,” Italian style, even though very batch of red sauce stings a little.
I resolve to worry less about money, but keep shopping at Aldis.

And I resolve to eat a few more greens and drink less wine. 🙂

I know it’s just September, but a cooler night reminds me again that the seasons start over, and so should we. So here’s to a new season, a few resolutions, and a reminder that the only constant in life is change.

06.27.14
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Taking Stock and Building A Vision Board

Nicholas and I were talking extensively about creating a vision board last night; his mom made one last year and has encouraged us to do the same, as there’s nothing like the power of visuals and positive thinking to keep you on track. I used to have one in my classroom in San Antonio, but we’ve never made one together.

It’s a perfect time to refocus, especially as we’ve recently marked a year of us beginning our life back in Atlanta. It’s a good time to slow down, let our souls catch up with our bodies, and quietly review the transitions of the last year. After 14 years of working for Target, yesterday was Nicholas’ last day–perfect timing since we’re rounding the troops and spending as much time with Poppi as possible now that he’s on hospice care. Nothing like closing down both of our careers in the same year and learning that time with our dad is seriously limited –it all begs a moment to step back and take stock of our life.

The vision board seems easy at first–it’s simple to make a list of things that more money or time would get us, but we tried to focus on things less dependent on both, as how can you ever measure when you have enough of either? Instead, we focused on things that already do or would bring us more happiness or contentment.

Time together topped our list– spending time with family trumps all else–gathering together to hear Poppi’s stories, glean another cooking lesson or tip, and share laughter and memories over great food.

We want to continue building our friendships here, join an adult sport league like kickball or softball, bike the Atlanta belt line, and continue to entertain in our house.

Nicholas wants to hone his homebrews and I want more time in my “studio” to craft and dabble in homemade goods.

We have our sights set on weekend getaways to Savannah or Charleston, and of course can’t keep cruising off the board.

We haven’t lost hope of our supper club, built around concepts of napoletana pizza and homebrew, and I’m still scheming about a job in writing or nonprofit.

What I’m realizing, though, in brainstorming our continued vision for the future, is that I already have more than I ever imagined, or deserve, and I’m so thankful.

It’s not all perfect, of course–Transitions are tough and we have plenty of them, personally and professionally. But we’re loved beyond measure, surrounded in healthy and fulfilling relationships. I remind myself that this is more important than anything else this life could offer.

So as we continue to create a vision board, we’re dreaming hard, but are also taking the time to step back and recognize that it’s already a good life.

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01.29.14
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My Dad Would Have Been Prepared For “Snowmageddon”

My dad has always been an extremist when it comes to safety precautions—he’s as prepared as a human could be for any possible disaster. If there’s ever a huge national crisis, I’m headed straight for rural Metamora where I’ll hide out in my parents’ basement, eat canned food and snooze under homemade afghans. As excessive as his precautions sometimes seem, (think mass amounts of bungee cords, pounds of sand, multiple blankets, and endless snacks) I was and still am thankful for his attention to detail, even if I didn’t recently heed his lessons like I should have.

My first car, an 80-something black escort, was a prime example, as the trunk was equipped with a box of sand, candles with matches, warm socks, a variety of non perishable snacks, flares, jumper cables, a first aid kit and a heavy afghan. I only needed a handful of these goods throughout high school and college, but on necessary occasion I was eternally grateful for my dad’s wisdom and diligence in making sure that us kids were always safe and prepared for whatever mother nature may have in store for us.

Most of my adult life I’ve resided in warmer climates and have subsequently paid little attention to these sort of precautions. Yesterday I was stranded for 22 hours in the snow/ice gridlock of our city, which has already taken on the nickname of “Snowmageddon 2014.” The usually one hour trek from Sugar Hill to my house became nearly a day’s trip, and I realized a few things:

1. My dad is always right, and I really wish I still had my winterized trunk of goodies.
2. In the absence of specific supplies my dad would have suggested, I still carry a pretty stocked purse—wipes, flashlight, pocket knife, gum, protein bars, and good lip gloss.
3. Southerners really freak out when they see snow/ice and my dad should give them a quick intro to downshifting on hills.
4. There’s still so much goodness in the world; a 20-something in Alpharetta was passing out hot coffee, an older woman in Roswell passed out cookies, and an entire family had their Red-Ryder’s out on 285 W passing out water.
5. Patience might be the most valuable attribute I could ever possess—I’m still working on this one.

My car will very soon be stocked with details to my dad’s specifications, just in case I ever need to spend the night in my car again. As for me? I’ve marked my spot next to Nicholas on the couch with my pink laptop and Rainbow Bright Snuggie and have no intentions of leaving the house any time soon.

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I hope “Becah for JECA” knows how much I love this snuggie. 🙂