Wilma is alive! (and other Covid ruminations)

I stopped counting the days, or weeks during this wild time.

Instead, I started really plugging into the stuff that makes me feel whole; and for the most part, that comes from my childhood. So forgive me for the constant farm stories, or shenanigans about the past, but (I think) there’s some funny stuff in there that resurfaces in my memory in the most random of moments.

It’s been just over a year since we moved to Sacramento, and we live in a 3-story town house with a 4th floor rooftop. I got a wild hair one night that we should start a roof top compost, and it seemed really easy. When I was a kid we had a plastic milk jug cut off at the top and we filled it with “sheep slop” that we’d toss into the pasture and anything else that was compostable, but the stuff sheep wouldn’t eat, we’d toss into this fenced off area at the edge of the pasture. Everything always broke down nicely and we had divine dirt to use on the garden each Spring. I have no idea why I thought I could re-create this in a 2-foot plastic bin in the middle of the city, but, as with most things, I’m full of hope and expectation.

So I took an old plastic bin from moving, poked holes in the lid, lined the bottom with newspaper and proper dirt, and then started filling it with eggshells, clementine peels, lettuce leaves, etc. I named her Wilma. And I took great care to make sure I fed her every night, added a little water, and told her a story or two about my day.

Months passed….nothing. The egg shells were still in full halves, the clementines were withered, but not breaking down, and it smelled to high heaven and was full of disgusting moving things that I’m quite sure weren’t actually good for the dirt or the flowers I wanted to fertilize.

Meanwhile, my husband Nicholas is kind of a city slicker, and thought this whole idea was ridiculous, but after a few months, I heard him reference my compost by her proper name, and my zest was renewed.

My compost’s namesake is not out of disrespect, but an ode to one of the sassiest women I’ll likely ever know. My great Aunt Wilma was the most independent woman I ever knew in the AC church (Apostolic Christian) and if you knew or met her, you were lucky. In a time when independence for women wasn’t the norm, she marched to her own drum, was full of saucy opinions, and while I’m quite sure she she was raised to be silent and bite her tongue, she certainly did not.  She was always dressed to the nines with a beautiful suit and matching brooch, and while single, hometown gossip said she had multiple proposals that she’d turned down. I don’t think I knew anyone else who never married and was a career woman in the world I grew up in, but she worked for Caterpillar for 70-ish years, and had her own apartment in Peoria before moving to the duplexes in Eureka, which is the only place I ever knew and visited.

She lived to be 104 (I think? I’ll have my mom edit if that’s wrong) but I remember she was 100 and still passed her driving test and was rolling around town like she was a teen. No one could tell her what to do, even when it came to re-using a napkin with someone’s gum in it. She had this wooden napkin holder on the table with used napkins from folks all over the country; while she was all fancy with her rolled hair and matching suit, she was busting out recycled items every chance she got.  You never knew if you were going to get a napkin with gum, snot, crumbs, or just mild wrinkles that she had freshly flattened. She saved everything. And recycled everything. Most folks in my world saved things in a similar way, but also had standards about used napkins. Not so much Aunt Wilma.

So you get the name—what better praise for a strong, wild woman in my life than to name the compost after her? In this way, she’ll always be alive to me.

And ALIVE she is! During Covid-19, I’ve spent a good amount of time on the roof, and one night I realized that Wilma’s pink lid had popped open, which is odd, because the lid has those snap down handles that are super tight. But this strong-willed woman busted those handles wide open and there was a full-on head of lettuce growing in the middle of the compost. I was in awe and picked a leaf, smelled it, took a bite, and then looked down to see the bugs and eggshells still in the dirt and decided that wasn’t a great idea for my gut health, but how rad is that to have a head of lettuce from Wilma??

While my sweet husband cringes at the stuff I save, I get it honest. And I’ve reused almost all of my sour cream containers, pickle jars, and cereal boxes for packages during this unconventional time to send out sanitizers and home goods into the world.

So here’s just saying, when I kick the bucket, I’d be honored if someone names their compost after me. And as for Wilma, I’m glad to still have a piece of her in my life–all strength and sass, busting a plastic lid open like that to see the world and get some fresh air.

A new shower schedule & hot dogs for breakfast: adventures of week 1

i-hate-showering

Because I know that I won’t see most of you for a little while and you’ll forget what I wrote, I have absolutely no filter. You’ve been warned.

I really hate taking showers.

Maybe it’s because I had to share bath water on the farm with 4 other hoodlums, so that’s not exactly a clean or fond memory. I just hate the disruption of going from the coziness of my sheets to water, to being freezing cold drying off, and then having to do something with my hair. I’m already a little cranky in the morning, and the daily shower schedule really cramps my style.

So imagine my elation when I realize that I can still fix my face (because make up makes my heart happy) but I don’t actually have to abide by societal rules and take a shower every day?!  #winning.

Before you judge too much and think I must be smelly, I’ve been spending the wee hours of the night in my HGJ (homegrownjules) garage workshop, which is full of all things squeaky clean: literally 40+ bottles of isopropyl alcohol, witch hazel, liquid aloe vera, mineral oil, every essential oil available…you get the idea. I’ve been cranking out hand sanitizers, kitchen cleaning products, coffee body scrubs, and as of yesterday, a homemade jojoba hand cream, so I smell as divine as a freshly showered babe.

In other news, I work in the food industry, and while sales are tanking, I feel the need to do my part to get DoorDash as often as possible—Café Bernardo’s Thai Noodle Salad, Pizza Rock’s Cal Italia, Thai Palace’s Phad Kee Mao? Yes, please. And I’ll eat those in my soft clothes and on red china, because I still have some standards.

But in between supporting local business, I have to support our shrinking bank account, too, and since I’m a rule-follower and am trying not to leave the house for groceries, it’s time to clean out the freezer for some frugal meals in between….be afraid for my husband.

“Breakfast tacos?” I ask. “How’s that sound?”

“Delish,” he says. “Potatoes, eggs, bacon, and chorizo? Sounds perfect.”

Hmm. No bacon. No chorizo, but I had a little baggy of “mystery meat” that turned out to be grilled hot dogs—from the one time we used our rooftop grill last summer. Lord only knows what possessed me to baggy those up, but sometimes I resort back to this super frugal farm living and freeze everything I can… “just in case.”

Let me tell you—just dice those little suckers into tiny squares (think Tostino’s pizza pepperoni bits), toss into a buttery skillet and they’re transformed. Cut the sprouts off the last couple of purple potatoes and whisk in some eggs, and I’ve got a filling for breakfast tacos that I could start delivering during this crisis. I’m pretty sure Nicholas actually thought it was chorizo, and while he was dying for seconds, I only had 2 hot dogs to start with and had to ration them for another idea come tomorrow.

I think Nicholas finds Covid-19 less scary than what I might thaw from the freezer next.

It goes without saying that this is a terrifying time and I’m beyond grateful for the jobs we still have, the food in our fridge, the family that calls and checks in, the thousands of folks putting their life at risk every day, and the hope of a better tomorrow.

I assume you know all of that already, so instead of stating the obvious in excess, I thought I’d provide a little levity instead.

That said, love each other. Work a puzzle. Teach your kids how to cook. Play spoons at the kitchen table. And say your prayers. It’s going to be okay.

 

 

Big Love and Mullets: A Rocke Family Anecdote

Family can be hard.

You can’t choose them or change them, but I’ve learned to love them hard for a million reasons. And the older I get, the more I appreciate our differences because the one thing that’s constant is the big love we share, and the even bigger love my parents have instilled for us to have Faith; over the years, they’ve really embraced whatever that Faith and Belief looks like for each of us, as we’ve not always chosen the same path, and while that has created some momentary dissonance, in the end, great love and faith has always trumped all the idiosyncrasies….and as I try really hard to root all things in gratitude, I’m most thankful for the nimbleness of our family and the willingness to really try to understand and table judgement in the name of a bigger love.

I mean, we might share the genetic “fisherman’s nose” (sorry Jeff, you and I got that one honest from Dad and Grandpa Rocke) but sometimes the similarities can end there. We all grew up in this DIY world together on Rural Route 1 (yes, that’s a real address) but we couldn’t have turned out more differently. But that’s what makes the Rocke clan pretty awesome–we still make massive effort to gather together even though we’re as different as you could imagine.

My oldest brother is a father of 5 kiddos (can you imagine??) and the Elder of our family’s church in Minneapolis; he is the master-mind and owner of an engineering company and his daily tasks are so far over my IQ that I have to take notes on things to Google later so he won’t think I’m a complete idiot.  (As I’m writing this, I’m not even sure that it’s an engineering company…but again, over my intelligence level. It’s something important.) Being the oldest (especially of 5) comes with its own set of challenges, none that I pretend to understand, and he continues to be our leader of sorts and make time for family shenanigans even when I know that it has to come from some personal sacrifice.

My only sister is an interior design genius that left an architecture firm to go out on her own a few years ago, and is a super-mom (of 3) who literally has her hands in every possible honey pot in Bloomington, IL. You need her to bring food for 150 high school kids after the Joseph Musical? No worries. Give her 2 hours notice. Want her to run Bible School or the Vacation Bible School program? She’ll do it in her sleep while she coordinates a mission trip to a remote place with no running water. I need a Xanax and stiff drink after hearing about her day, but meanwhile, she’s already on to saving whales or planning to re-do the entire backyard without using a handyman (insert her husband here, but I’m just focusing on the core 5 here.)

My middle brother is a total unicorn. (Sorry, Brad…but I always joked your fashion style would never find you a wife…lol.) But he married young, had 4 amazing kids and started his own Ag company before being an entrepreneur was even a thing. Like my eldest brother, if you ask him about his business, it’s so complicated I feel like I need a translator just to have appropriate responses. I do care, but it’s so over my head that I resort back to that big love concept and just embrace that he’s happy and try not to have a brain implosion when I try to understand better. He’s the calm, even voice of us kids, as I don’t know that I’ve ever heard him get loud or irrational like the rest of us so easily do. (And his little bum was just too cute not to share here.)

And my littlest bro…he’s the family trail blazer…He’s always been the strong willed one who knew what he wanted before anyone else could even hope to start tracking; we spent the most time together “on the homestead” before the West called him for ranching and all the wild things that entails, but he’s the hardest lover…we used to fight and act crazy, but I always knew he had my back and would love me over the disagreement. He’s the awesome dad of 3 kids…and he’s a grandpa..which is amazing and hilarious at the same time, considering he’s the youngest of us that had kids. In a lot of ways, he’s been my person as we’ve gotten older, which is pretty wild if you see us together, as he’s usually trying to start a farting contest and I’m worried if I picked the right nail color.

I bring up the rear, as the perfect child, of course. Just kidding. Nicholas (my hubs) and I wore matching “Black Sheep” t-shirts to our family bash, and while I think I’m pretty well behaved, it is kind of true…I left for Atlanta when I was 21, met and got engaged to Nicholas in 3 weeks, and later decided we didn’t want to have any children.  We live in California now, and while my life choices haven’t taken the traditional or expected route, my family has embraced our path and only care that we are happy and have some version of spirituality.

All joking aside…we’re an interesting bunch and we love each other in spite of any difference in life choices, and while I’m clearly biased, I think my parents raised a pretty awesome clan.

My parents have been married for 50 years. Seriously?! Can you imagine being married to anyone that long and still look at each other fondly? Well, they do…and my dad shared a bit of their story this week that none of us had heard.

My mom was pretty hard-headed (shocker) and had no plans to every marry. Now that’s something we ironically have/had in common. She was in school at Illinois State to be a teacher, which was somewhat unusual in her time and situation, as women were typically not college bound, and instead were more apt to take a church marriage and settle in to raise children. Somehow, my mom was ahead of her time and managed to not only do both, but do so with 5 hooligans on a farm with little money and the need and/or desire to grow and raise our food, sew our clothes and manage family camping trips every summer.

And my dad was the guy who openly said, “I’ll love her enough for the both of us.” Thankfully, while their engagement began as my mom saying yes because she believed it was God’s plan more than anything, she wound up loving him completely (duh–to know him is to love him) and 50 years later, they’re a love story that we could only hope to replicate. It’s the Faith-based, all encompassing love that transcends all else, and this Rocke, motley crew was and still is fortunate enough to see in action.

I’ve always joked about my parents’ frugality (and I’m a self-proclaimed exaggerator, so sometimes Nicholas doesn’t believe me and I have to fact check to be sure I had the core stories straight.) True story–mom made most of our clothes, matching whenever she could, cut our very uneven mullets (and sometimes permed them) and we all bathed in the same 2 inches of cistern (rain) water.  There was no such thing as expired food (because if it did come from a store and not from the garden) it was never going to waste…insert Mystery Meat Mondays and solutions for spoiled milk. I’ll spare you too many details here.

Their frugality in our childhood and understanding that there are more important things than store bought Levis and Guess sweatshirts were the reason that they could fund a beach trip like we had this week. Their generosity and constant need to make sure we all stay connected is one of the many things that I’m thankful for, as it’s too easy to grow older and grow apart.

We gathered in Hatteras, NC this last week to celebrate them (and my mom’s 70th, though she looks 50) and it was an awesome time to connect, laugh, and share the many stories of childhood with our spouses and kids.

Mom prepped a slideshow of old photos, and I took the liberty of sharing some goods here–hilarious. I know that only folks that know us or grew up in a similar way might be amused, but I wanted to share a taste of our Rocke childhood on RR1 and all the love that grew with us.

So because I like to cheers all things lovely in this world, here’s to you, mom and dad, the beautiful story that you’re still living, and all the goodness you’ve planted in the Rocke kids. I speak for all of us when I say that we love you more than we’ll ever be able to articulate in mere words, and we’re so thankful for your love, your faith, and you’re incredible influence in the adults we’ve all become.

PS–I still claim the kids’ table.

Love Actually and DIY Sugar Scrubs

Tonight, I had a date with two vital elements of life, Love Actually and a DIY Christmas craft, as I haven’t given up on my “homemade Christmas.” Unfortunately, I can never seem to work our seven different TV remotes when Nicholas is out of town, and so I settled for the Love Actually soundtrack on my iPad instead.

I wanted to make sugar scrubs, but didn’t want to have to run back out to the store, so I used a hodge-podge of household goods: sugar, salt, rosemary from the sidewalk, essential oils, limes, mandarins, olive oil and baby oil. The recipe is simple, and in the absence of one scent or ingredient, I just substituted what I had. (This way, I can convince myself that I made these for “free”).

Recipe: these are all approximations…you really can’t mess it up. 🙂
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
10-ish drops of Essential oil
Rosemary, lime zest, or something for color/texture.

Mix the ingredients together, and it’s enough for two jelly jars.

Substitutions:
-I used olive oil until we got dangerously low and wanted to save some for Sunday gravy; then I subbed in baby oil. When I ran out of baby oil, I used mineral oil (we usually use it for hydrating our cutting boards, but ironically, it was the best sub. It keeps your mixture pure white, and doesn’t have the strong smell of olive oil or baby oil, and thus requires less essential oil. In the future, I’ll just buy and use regular mineral oil.)
-I wanted a citrus scent, but didn’t have lemons, so I used limes for zest and juiced it into the mixture. When I ran out of limes, I used clementines. (Good thing I stopped there…I think pineapple, the only other fruit in the house, would have been really funky.)

In spite of my jumbled ingredients, I ended up with an awesome product that was super easy, cheap, and as an added bonus, my hands are soft and smell all rosemary and citrusy, just from cleaning the excess off the jars.

I’m sure the folks on my Christmas list are hoping for fancy gift cards, but I’m giving a little “scrub-scrub” instead. 🙂

Happy holidays, y’all.

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An Ode To My Mason Jars

(Well, It’s not really an ode…just a blog.)

This past spring I made a few road trips from Atlanta to central Illinois, where my parents were cleaning out and preparing to sell the family farm. Regardless of whether it was just nostalgia, or a general need for certain items, I hauled full loads in my CX7 back to our townhouse, in hopes of preserving pieces of the farm in the city.

One of the many items I rescued was a serious stash of Mason/Kerr jars that were in my parents’ cellar or in the chicken house. Much to my dismay, my mom actually admitted that she had thrown a load away already, and terrified at the thought, I took as many as I could box up.

My sheer delight regarding my farm things hasn’t exactly been shared by my husband, who is under the delusion that I have inherited too many jars. Too many?? That’s impossible! The options are endless, but he doesn’t quite appreciate that, as he only sees the precarious stack of them on a garage shelf. I say I’m hoarding them because I use them for my homemade detergent, but the reality is, I have a hard time parting with them, even for a sale.

In perusing Pinterest the other day, I determined it was time to begin my fall decorating, and as I began changing the seasonal goods around our house, the ideas for my sacred jars began: candle holders, toothbrush holders, make-up organizers, vases, weight loss marble visual aids, and the list goes on.

I love to find a purpose for them, but I don’t mind just having a serious stash of them for the intended use—next summer when I have a neighborhood garden plot, I’ll can up any kind of fruit or veggie I can harvest from our red-clay soil. Until then, I love having them sprinkled throughout the house, and don’t mind that there’s still an un-used stash in the garage. I feel a bit of the simple, country life every time I dust one off and use it, and the older I get, the more inclined I am to cling to a few things from the past.

Disclaimer: I know this is a lot of pictures–that’s the point. 🙂

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Gatsby? My Gatsby.

I didn’t teach The Great Gatsby this year– for the first time in 11 years of teaching. I have a somewhat bizarre obsession that began long before Leo and Jay-Z made it cool again.

I first taught the Gatsby the fall after I turned 22, when one of my only serious relationships finally came to its last end. in a lot of ways, I still chased my own past while I struggled to teach a novel that I didn’t even enjoy in high school. I found its lessons on love, letting go, and reserving judgement profound, long before I became enamored by the glitz, glamour, pearls, and lace of all things flappers and Daisy Buchanan.

My first go at the Gatsby probably left my students with few memorable classroom lessons, as I think I was the one who learned most. In many ways, I grew up this last decade with Gatsby by my side– a trusty friend and teacher who reminded me that that a long summer ahead holds all kinds of promises and life will inevitably start over again in the fall. As a teacher, this has absolutely held true, every year for the last decade, as summer always provided renewed hope and fall meant another chance to be a better person, a wiser teacher, and correct the mistakes from the prior year.

Over the years, I’ve honed the lessons of Gatsby into ways to reach students and have learned how to make a classic applicable and even modern to teenagers. The last few years my classroom has turned into a full fledged 20s throwback, complete with a movie project and a full costume Gatsby luncheon on the last days of school in May.

Last May, I wrapped up my last full year of teaching in a style of which I’m sure Fitzgerald would have been proud. I began the day in white as Daisy Buchanan, and most of my students dressed up; the guys wore snazzy suits and the girls went all out with flapper dresses, pearls, floppy hats and feathered hair pieces. We drank school appropriate versions of Mint Juleps, ate finger sandwiches and watched the student remakes of Gatsby scenes. It was a fantastic final day of glitz, jazz, pearls and Gatsby charm. As the new movie released, we took our party to the theater in partial costume to witness the modern interpretation.

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Daisy Buchanan at our luncheon last May.

In the absence of a classroom to decorate this spring, I redecorated our guest bathroom in Fitzgerald’s honor. My two copies of the text with 10 years of annotations and insights made up the wall paper and I hung the 70s movie posters from my classroom. A few bits of homemade lace and old pearls helped to soften the space, and while I have yet to figure out how to hook up motion censored audio, I’m pretty content with my Fitzgerald tribute.

In spite of the fact that the past constantly does reshape my future, I also know that summer does stretch out ahead with new promises and life most certainly does start over each year; the lessons of Gatsby are inevitably accurate, even this year as the school year ends without me in it.

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Garage Sale Inspiration

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Yesterday was the community garage sale in our neighborhood, Glenwood Park,which is nestled between East Atlanta Village and Grant Park. Instead of signing up to participate by selling my house-hold seconds, I thought I’d try my hand at selling all things “homegrownjewlz.” I recently decided my business logo should be a dragonfly (explanation to follow in another blog), made business cards and a banner to match, and then spent the last week making as much strawberry jam and pomegranate detergent as I had time to create.

It was a wet, overcast day and yet the community still came out in packs to
dig for bargains. I spooned jam into every mouth that would accept, and
particularly enjoyed the sticky-fingered kids who asked for more. I sold a
lot of jam yesterday, and all but 2 jars of my pomegranate detergent, but
more importantly, it was a great day for networking and meeting people who appreciate homemade things and/or have a similar sensibility and creative spirit.

Local residents, now acquaintances, and soon to be friends gave me a variety of ideas and were excited and supportive about my little garage business (soon to become my studio after remodel). As a result of yesterday, I submitted my application to sell detergents at a local co-op called Bee Hive in the Edgewood Shopping Center and talked to the owner of our community coffee shop about selling my jam on his shelves. Fingers crossed on both accounts.

I love the possibilities and hope that I feel today, and am ready to get back into my garage studio to tackle my next project–Aprons out of vintage sheets and doilies are up next.

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Peanut Butter and Banana Go-gurt

I don’t know when go-gurt emerged and improved the world of yogurt eating, but I discovered it in college and used to keep my freezer stocked. I saw a homemade version of this frozen goodness on the Food Network the other day, so instead of drinking my protein shake this morning, I made an attempt at an oldie but goodie.

The verdict? Delicious. I’m a texture person, and I’d much rather eat these frozen yogurt puddles than drink a protein shake, and while the ingredients are the same, the flavor is richer. Double bonus.

Ingredients: (this is for two servings)
2 T peanut butter
1 C vanilla or plain Greek yogurt
3 small bananas
1 packet Splenda
(Use skim milk if you want it thinner)

Directions:
Blend ingredients, pour into ziploc bag, trim the corner, and use like a pastry bag to squeeze “puddles” in whatever size you wish onto parchment paper. Freeze for about 15 minutes before eating.

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Dough by D’Amico

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(This is an older picture of our food board when we did a trial run with friends)

My “pizza man” and I are starting a supper club this spring: bruschetta, napoletana pizza, home-brew and gelato. We’ve been scheming this for a good minute, but on a recent road trip to the mountains we brainstormed names and determined that “Dough by D’Amico” was the way to go.

We’re taking the month of April to plan our menus, design some decor, and of course, practice our 900 degree pizza method in order to smooth the system and avoid some oven mayhem that we’ve recently incurred.

If things go well, as the optimist in me declares will certainly be the case, we’ll turn the supper club into a pizza business in the empty shop across the street from our house; that’s the beauty of an adventure– we never know where it might lead and how it may change our life.

Side note: it was on this same road trip that we realized that a decision to live life sans-kids means the end of the D’Amico name…gasp! Who would run our pizza enterprise and make home brew in glasses sporting our fantastic Italian name? Oh, the pressure good pizza and home brew has created. 🙂

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Christmas Cookies in January

This past Christmas, one of my favorite students brought me these ridiculous holiday cookies–I remember tasting them, and after one bite, I threw caution to the wind and ate all three without even stopping to breathe.  (I know you’re not supposed to play favorites with students, but cookies always help.) I asked him for his mom’s recipe, and finally made them tonight. I’m infamous for not having certain ingredients and improvising, and tonight was no exception—the recipe calls for crushed peppermints and white chocolate morsels; I didn’t have either, but I had crushed Andes white peppermint baking chips, so I used those.  Delicious.  Here’s the deal:

Peppermint Melt Away Cookies
Active Time: 30 minutes.  Total time: 1 Hour

Ingredients:

Pam cooking spray
1 8oz. package cream cheese
1/2 cup unsalted butter 9 (1 stick)
Large zip-top bag
1 cup starlight mints (or candy canes) finely crushed
1 large egg
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1 box white cake mix
1 cup white chocolate chips

Directions:

  1.  Preheat oven to 350.
  2. Coat baking sheets with spray.
  3. Cut cream cheese and butter into small pieces, place into large bowl to soften and crush mints in zip-top bag.
  4. Add egg, vanilla, and half the cake mix to the cream cheese and butter.  Mix with electric mixer for 1-2 minutes.  Stir in remaining half of cake mix, white chocolate chips and ½ cup of the mints.  Place remaining ½ cup of mints in  shallow bowl.
  5. Shape dough into 1-inch balls and press tops of dough into mints.  Place on baking sheets, mint side up and 2 inches apart.  Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden and center is barely set.  Let stand 3-4 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to cool.

Making these cookies tonight connected me with an awesome moment at the end of the semester, and I’m thankful to feel this sense of connection to a world that already feels like a distant memory.  And, as an added bonus, I love that my whole house smells like Christmas now, and I have the perfect midnight snack.

 

meltaway cookies