Poppi has been my dad for just under 11 years now, and when I think about the abrupt way I came into his family, I’m still overwhelmed at his love and acceptance.

Our first meeting wasn’t a handshake kind of greeting, as he was more of a bear-hug kind of guy. He started teaching me italian recipes as soon as he learned my name, and he quickly claimed me as one of his own. Poppi was always a safe zone, as there was no judgement or scrutiny, he was all love and acceptance.

My favorite memories are of Sundays, when we’d sit together in our Oakwood church and then gather back at the house for a ridiculous Italian spread. The 20 pounds I gained our first year of marriage I chalk up to the intense love he packed in to his incredible food. We’d sit around the table for hours, a little Frank playing in the background to accompany his hilarious stories and advice on life, and nosh our way through the day.

In one of our moments today, he hugged me and said, “you’re the best thing that ever happened to this family.” These might be the last coherent words he ever says to me, and while my heart feels so heavy I can hardly breathe, I also have to celebrate his life and the way in which he’s touched mine.

It’s rare to marry into a family and immediately use words like “mom” and “dad,” though that was easily the case in my lucky experience. He embraced me as another daughter, and he quickly became my “Poppi,” a man that helped teach me to love hard, regardless of circumstance.

He’s only 69, and part of me feels robbed of another 20 he could have, but I also know that he packed more life and love into my last ten years than most people get in a lifetime, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.

I work in the food industry now, and a portion of my training came from him. Little did I know that on a daily basis I’d work with accounts where chefs and owners know him well, have stories to share, and are still touched by his relationships with them. He does a million things well, but few surpass his ability to connect with the human soul on a level that is inevitably unforgettable. My favorite thing about my job is telling him who I ran in to that knows him and reminding him that he’s not a “legacy in his own mind,” as he used to say, but a bonafide legacy.

Life without him seems unfathomable, but I think about the character he instilled in my husband and sister, Amber, and I know that he’ll always live on in us. Nicholas is entirely influenced by Mom and Poppi, and the man that he is was so perfectly shaped by the time that he and Pop used to spend together. I’ll always be grateful for the boy they raised who became the man I was lucky enough to marry.

I know the worst is yet to come for us, but I know we’ll all be okay because the love he built can never be broken. We’ll feel him in every great batch of red sauce we make, every Frank song we hear, and in every loving moment we’ll continue to share.